Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Queries and Unlikely Exclamations



"Oh, me bloomin' onions."

Hello, there. Don't mind me. I'm just trying out a few interesting phrases to exclaim under less than ideal circumstances. Right now my go-to is the classic "Jeeze, Louise," which beat out "For Pete's sake," by a narrow margin.

For a while in college, my favorite phrase was, "For f**k's sake!" (I try to keep this blog nice and PC). I feel like I've had a few more creative ones, but I can't think of them right at this moment.

I've also been known to write songs to things like skillet bread and hot chocolate. These songs, in case you were curious, do not involve many lyrics other than the name of the food/drink in question. I am not a terribly talented songstress.

Well, all this is a rather off-topic lead up to the decision to start querying again. (I went back and forth on that a few times.) I've revised my novel, re-written my query, and picked out the first round of agents. I have not, however, actually sent out any queries yet. That'll probably happen next weekend because I've been too busy revising, writing my contemporaryYA, and critiquing to fit actual querying into my weekend. (Okay, so I'm nervous and dawdling, but I did spend my time well.)

I edge ever closer to the main event. I'm liking my new Chapter 1, and my current query letter has actually received positive reviews from people who did not like my first query letter. It also got positive reviews from people who did like my first query letter. Yea!

And, because I've spent so much time on it, I am going to share said query letter with you. It might go a little heavy on the melodrama (which was something I specifically asked my CPs about), but I like it.

Without further ado, here it is:


It’s 1956, the world runs on dragon magic, and powerful half-human, half-dragon Senator Darius McCarthy is in the midst of his campaign to rid America of the traitorous Reds.

Moura Pearce watches Senator McCarthy's television show every Thursday. The whole country does. Moura's curled up on the couch next to her best friend when creepy, dragon-eyed McCarthy singles out her dad as a communist traitor. Suddenly that poodle skirt she desperately wanted seems a lot less important. Moura runs home . . . and finds she doesn't have a home left.

Moura barely manages to pull her parents out of the fire that’s consuming their house. Her parents must flee, abandoning Moura with a snobby old aunt. Moura knows exactly who's responsible, even if he didn't light the match himself. McCarthy might think he's all-powerful. He might even have huge, fire-breathing dragons on his side. But Moura doesn’t have much left to lose. She finally sees the strangle hold Senator McCarthy has on her country, and she’s going to break that hold even if it costs the one thing she’s got left: her life.

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